King Kong

Some thoughts after returning from yet another movie where somebody decided to talk out loud while the movie was playing. I should thank these people sometimes, because if it were not for them, I would have less to write about:

This poor man probably never got enough attention in his life, and his only voice comes inside a darkened theater, where he knows that everyone is there to listen. But not to him. But in his mind, this is as good an opportunity that he will ever have in his life. And that is unfortunate.

This world is structured to confuse every human being into forms of addiction that is profitable to retailers.

An ape was on the screen, beating his chest, to show that he was the strongest in the land. Art imitating life yet once again.

Because there is no rationalizing with a wild animal, I try not to be anywhere near them.

Paraphrase from what Roger Ebert said: People will sit through 20 minutes of theater commercials, then through another 15 minutes of upcoming movie trailers, but will complain when a movie runs longer than 2 hours.

There is no shame in not knowing; the shame comes from not wanting to know.

When it comes to why things happen, we can believe one of three things: a) There is a reason for everything. b) There is no reason for anything. c) Sometimes there’s a reason for some things. I pick a) because I really believe in c), that sometimes there’s a reason for some things. But since I don’t know when those “sometimes” moments happen, I may as well believe it is happening all the time.

Thank God that I saw this movie already, on the first day that it opened, in a packed theater full of movie geeks. During that showing, everyone was quiet, applauded at the right moments, and paid more attention to the movie instead of munching on their popcorn or talking on their cellphones. The film stock was fresh and had no flaws, the sound was perfect, and I was able to experience the movie in as pure a setting as possible. It was 100% geeky. It was 100% respectful.

Where to Get Everything During Every Christmas

Chances are I won’t be able to buy all the right things for everyone this Christmas, just like every other Christmas, just like every year. Chances are I’ll forget someone on my Christmas list and when I run into them at a party without having something to give them, it will be awkward.

Chances are I’ll be too tired to really enjoy this holiday season, and I won’t have time for everyone that I want to make time for. Chances are I’ll feel guilty about this.

Chances are that the potluck food that I’m planning to bring at the Christmas party won’t be eaten, or it won’t taste as good as I hoped. Chances are the time that I took to make it won’t be appreciated by everybody.

Chances are that I’ll get sick right after the holidays because I didn’t rest enough, because I thought that if I didn’t rest, I might be able to get everything done, even though there’s never been a year when I was able to get everything done.

Chances are that the gifts that I get won’t be as good as the gifts that I give, and that by next year everyone will have forgotten what I gave them, even though I gave a lot of thought to every single gift.

Chances are I won’t have the money to pay off the credit cards used to pay for all the gifts and airplane fare and party supplies this Christmas.

Chances are my friends and family will be too busy to realize how unbelievably tired I am, even though I’m trying to do my best.

But there’s a good chance that I will see them soon, or a bit later, after Christmas, when there’s no pressure to make everything perfect. There’s a good chance that we won’t be wearing festive clothes or eating festive food or be surrounded by festive decorations.

Because there’s no pressure to cram everything into one afternoon or one night standing next to a Christmas tree, we will take our time with our thoughts and conversation and be better people for it.

Because the measurement of purchased gifts will not be an issue, we will have one less thing to worry about.

Because there’s no pressure to be kind to everybody, we will just relax and be kind to everybody.

I am looking forward to these days that aren’t Christmas, which far outnumber that one day of Christmas.


* In case you're wondering: I don't really go through all of the above things during Christmas, but decided to write it because of what I've been seeing lately at the malls and in the streets and from what I've heard from other people. I just used the "I" pronoun because it's shorter and sounds better than "Chances are many people will, during Christmas..."

Handshakes and Forgivenesses

Hello, my name is Gerardo San Diego. Forgive me for not bullshitting you because it’s been a while since I’ve practiced.

Forgive me for living in moderation. I have no reason to numb myself with excess.

I will, more likely, be a boring long-term friend than an exciting short-term buddy.

When we first meet, forgive me for asking you questions like this:

• Which would you sacrifice first: love, knowledge, or happiness?
  
  
• Which would you accept last: loneliness, ignorance, or sadness?
  
  
• If I had information that I think would be beneficial to your mental and/or physical health, but this information would reduce the amount of fun that you’re currently having, would you like me to tell you the information?

Because I myself am not self-destructive, I will not ask you to participate in self-destructive activities. Because I am not lonely in my hobbies, I will not expect you to participate in my hobbies.

Because I have high self-esteem, I will filter your comments in a positive, constructive way unless you specify otherwise.

Forgive me for steering you to talk about issues and ideas instead of people and things.

If you see me standing alone at a party, there’s a good chance that no one is discussing issues or ideas, and I am deciding whether or not I should leave.

I will not hesitate to pass judgment on others and their actions, just as I'm constantly passing judgment on myself and my own actions, just as I'm constantly evaluating myself and my own actions, just as the universe is constantly affected by myself and my own actions, just as the universe never stops being affected by myself and my own actions.

I am not afraid to be unpopular.

I will, from time to time, admit that my ego has reared its ugly head, and that I was unbalanced at that moment and acted accordingly. I will be loud about this so that I will be less likely to do it next time.

Your careful examination of the world is worth more to me than a thousand dollars.

Your careful examination of yourself is worth more to me than a million dollars.

Your encouragement of me to carefully examine my own self is invaluable.

States of Imperturbable Rest or How I Define My Invincibility

I sometimes write these entries to remind myself of what I’m capable of. I think the world does a good enough job of reminding me of my weaknesses, so it’s up to me to remind myself of the other stuff.

“Imperturbable rest” is basically the same as undisturbable rest, but I think imperturbable is more grammatically correct. Imperturbable rest is when nothing can jar your mind from being in a good and balanced place. Imperturbable rest, I think, is similar to being invulnerable, invincible, at least in one’s mind. As M.C. Hammer said, “Cain’t touch this.”

When things get a bit perturbed, this is what I think about to get back to imperturbable rest:

To paraphrase the movie “Grand Canyon”, in terms of the universe, I am literally a speck on the wing of the fly that landed on the ass of the cow by the side of the road. My problems are proportional.

My refrigerator is full of food and I won’t die of starvation today. That gives me at least one extra day before I really have anything to worry about.

Just as somebody, somewhere, is paying a couple hundred thousand dollars for an art piece that’s comprised of wooden crates and duct tape, in the same token, somebody, somewhere, thinks I’m damn good looking.

I have written at least one poem, one song, one story, drawn at least one picture, said at least one line that at least one person has found unbelievably amazing. A million other negative criticisms can’t take that away, ever.

No one who is living a peaceful, balanced life has ever attacked me, my views or my personality.

No one who is living a peaceful, balanced life has ever been slighted by anything that I’ve done or said, unless I was, myself, at that time, in an imbalanced state and in attack mode.

I’ve converted my ego into the psychological equivalent of a professional wine taster. I am able to taste and learn from compliments and criticisms, but do not ingest any of it.

Just like when people lose a lot of weight and they’re proud to show off the large pants that they used to wear, I like talking about how much more ignorant I used to be. I like saying “That was the old me, the old idiot me, and I’m not that anymore. I used to think like this and believe in this, but over the years I’ve learned that I was wrong on many many things, and I have no problem adjusting to newfound truths.” This forces me to be open and find more truths, and not be stuck on whatever truths that I know now.

By not being stuck, one cannot be perturbed.