Freedoms

Some say that J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Lord of the Rings and other epic stories, wrote to carry on the legacy of his close friends, Rob Gilson and Geoffrey Smith, also writers, who had fought and died during World War I. Tolkien also fought in the war but survived. Some say that Tolkien would not have written so much, so well, without this burden.

After hearing this, a phrase came into my mind, "Responsibility without burden." I thought about others and wondered if any of these are possible in my own life.

Love without obligation.

Enjoyment without measurement.

Achievement without comparisons.

Inspiration without rules.

Dedication without expectations.

Laughter without envy.

Labor without resentment.

Longevity without addiction.

I don't think they are absolutely attainable, but maybe the true measure of one's freedom is coming close to these ideals, or at least aiming for them.

Horizon Explorer

(Click on each picture for a larger version.)



The Horizon Explorer is a medium-range survey ship whose primary mission is to explore alternative sources of energy. Its two large external pods are multifunctional engines, utilizing internal nanobots to reconfigure the hardware and technology to adapt to whatever new energy source has been discovered for that mission.



The Horizon accommodates a crew of two, both of whom can pilot the ship as well as conduct scientific experiments within the ship's mini laboratory. The Horizon also holds a smaller hovercraft, the Sunspot, which the crew uses for localized surveying.



Although primarily a survey ship, because it is already fitted with heavy layers of radiation shielding and is adaptable to multiple environments, as well as having massive twin engines, the Horizon can also be employed as a rescue/tow vessel for severe weather operations.



What was my reason for doing this?

Absolutely no reason. Which is why I did it.

For the last three months, instead of surfing the Internet at night before going to sleep, I drew sketches and played with styrene plastic, model glue and paint. For one hour every night, I immersed myself in pure, unrestrained imagination.

I began by drawing sketches. My friend and I often watch movies on her TV, movies that we've already seen, like Lord of the Rings or Forrest Gump. While watching movies, she would often do her beadwork or other craft. I decided to join her. For two weeks, she crafted, and I drew.



After having an idea for a direction, I raided my closet full of brand new unbuilt model kits, still wrapped in plastic. Models that I'd always planned to build "when I had the time." They'd been sitting in the closet for more than ten years.

When I was young, I would build and paint each model according to directions. This time, I decided to throw all the instructions away, put all the plastic pieces into one giant container, and just let my imagination go.



I didn't want to plan too much, so I started with Scotch tape and a marker. If you look carefully, you'll notice it's a very simple design--an upside-down 747 jumbo jet body with space shuttle bodies for engines.



When I figured out a rough direction, I glued the pieces together. If you're wondering, NO, I wasn't very careful about measuring anything because that would have taken the fun away.



Then I spray painted with car primer and sanded some rough edges, puttied up holes and sanded some more.



I decided that one landing gear is good enough, and it looked cool.



Then I airbrushed the ship and painted the hovership and people.



And here's the ship as it is right now. Throughout the whole process, I made sure to have fun while doing it. If a certain task became laborious, I figured out a way to simplify it or skip it altogether.



The ship isn't finished yet--I still have to create a diorama, and maybe add some more detail to the model. I also have a large container full of other model parts that are at least a dozen more space ships waiting to be imagined.

My friend the beadmaker, after seeing the ship, named it Horizon. I think it's appropriate.

The Satirists

The older I get, the more I realize how much I need satirists. There are enough people in my life to tell me when I'm being delusional, but it's always good to have backup.

Lewis Black, Eddie Izzard, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, the Dalai Lama and any other person who is sneaky enough to draw a diagram regarding how I'm fooling myself in everyday situations, these people are indispensable. Except for Stephen Colbert, they are all comedians. Some examples of what I've come to realize after watching them make fun of people like me:

I realize that I aim to dress better when I'm about to meet with strangers, and more of a slouch when I am about to meet with friends. So the people that will have the opportunity to see me again and comment on my previous wardrobe will be presented with an inferior product to critique. But for the people that I probably will never ever give a shit about, I'll dress up for them.

I have seen hundreds of stand up routines and scores of comedies, but my seven year-old niece is more sure of what she thinks is funny than I do. She is only beginning to learn how to hesitate.

I know, down to the cent, how much more it will cost for me to own a luxury sedan compared to a non-luxury sedan over the next ten years. But I don't know by heart the phone numbers of my ten most often-called friends.

I was relieved to hear that scientists have discovered a way to make regular skin cells act like stem cells. I actually thought that the world would feel the impact of one less bitch session between two opposing groups.

I once bought accessories for a bicycle that cost more than the bike itself, and have used that lesson when making current decisions. I am still failing.

I ask people's opinions about product decisions that 1) will not save lives, 2) will not help lives, 3) will not make a difference in anyone's life, including mine. I do this because I never really wanted to buy the product, but I thought that if enough people gave me enough reasons, that that would be a good enough reason to buy anything, and give me added incentive to work for a living.

Newton's 4th Law of Motion should be, "Whether something is in motion or at rest, acting or reacting, it doesn't make a difference."

I fully understand that it's impossible to know what's in people's hearts, that no one can predict the future, and that nothing is guaranteed. Of the hundreds of propositions I have voted for in the past, I have been able to keep track of the outcomes of only a handful, and have no idea what has become of the vast majority of the others. But come next year, I am still voting, and will probably be happier if who and what I voted for does win. My approach is the same when rooting for sports teams.

The older I get, the more I realize that I am able to anger a lot of people by simply saying, "I have absolutely no idea why I made that decision. What about you?"

On a recent trip to San Francisco, I stood on one end of the Golden Gate Bridge, and took out my camera. As I was getting ready to take the picture, I thought about what my cousin said years ago, "Yeah right, like nobody else has taken THAT shot before." And then I thought about the thousands of photographs of the bridge, from thousands of photographers, from thousands of angles and vantage points, throughout the decades.

And then I took the shot. And then I thought about what my cousin said. And then I took another shot.